In Matthew 15, Jesus denounces the Pharisees who have honored Him with their lips while their hearts were far from Him. Jesus censures them as people who wash the outside of the cup while the inside is still unclean. Yet this is what we often do in childrearing. We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.
Tedd Tripp, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, (Wapwallopen WA: Shepherd Press, 1995), 5.